It seems there are a lot of myths about suicide out there, particularly when it comes to men.
In my early childhood, I was bullied relentlessly. And, as a direct result, I tried to take my life at the age of 15.
After my suicide attempt, I tried multiple forms of SSRI anti-depressants, saw various therapists and counselors for years, and still made little headway in my battle against my own mind.
After decades of depressive episodes, despite my life appearing to be good on paper, I eventually got to a place where I wanted to understand the roots of my intermittent depression (and repeated bouts of suicidal ideation) in a deeper way.
Here are 5 common myths about suicide and depression in men.
1. Men aren't emotional.
Societal narratives shape self-perception. If men consistently hear, throughout their lifetimes, that men aren’t emotional, then they will pay less nuanced attention to their internal worlds… and stress, hurt, fear, sadness, and other challenging emotions will be chronically subconsciously suppressed before they’re even recognized.
2. It is unmanly to ask for help.
In reality, no man is an island. No man ever achieved great success on his own, and no man ever felt safe, loved, and deeply nourished in life on his own.
We are a social species and we deeply need each other in order to thrive.
3. Suicidal ideation only affects those with a mental health condition.
Many people believe that thoughts of suicide only occur for people who are actively struggling with a mental health condition. When in truth, for anyone who has lived for a few decades, passing suicidal thoughts are extremely common, and should not be feared simply for occurring.
While suicidal ideation shouldn't be trivialized, nor should it be feared arbitrarily. If you have had thoughts of suicide at some point in your life, you are very, very normal.
4. Men don’t need people as much as women do.
A recent study confirmed what many people already sense to be true: women are more intimate and emotional with their friends and they place a higher level of value on their friendships than their male peers do.
But just because men tend to prioritize bonding over activities more than divulging vulnerable truths doesn't mean that they don't benefit from doing so.
Everyone benefits from feeling like people see and understand us. It is a deeply human need to want to feel like people have a sense of our internal reality and worldview.
5. It is selfish to take your own life
One of the biggest misconceptions about suicide is that it is a highly selfish act.
Of course, there is a huge emotional wake left behind by the person's passing, but for someone to get to a place where they'd consider suicide as the best option, they will often be in an internal place of feeling like the people around them will genuinely be better off without their existence.
No matter how off-base this belief is in reality (and it most often is a distorted perception), it can feel like a very rational, and correct thought to the person who is having it.
* New Words:
- relent (v) /ri:'lent/: come to an agreement after having refused
==> relentless = unrelenting (adj): not stopping, (a person) keep doing something without considering the other's feelings.
- take one's life (v): end one's life, kill one' life.
- anti-depressant drugs (n) /ˌæntidɪˈpresnt/: drugs are for treating depression.
- on paper (idm): (in this context): in reality, author's life is not good at all even though it should be good as it is planned.
- intermittent (adj) /ˌɪntərˈmɪtənt/: not regular.
- bout of (n) /baʊt/: a period of illness or depression.
-subconsciously (adv) /ˌsʌbˈkɑːnʃəs/: (in this context) the author would like to talk about his emotions have mentally been prevented, "handcuffed" or accumulated day by day.
- suppress (v) /səˈpres/: prevent something from being spoken out, expressed or showed.
==> suppression (n) + of:
- trivialize (v) /ˈtrɪviəlaɪz/: make something less important than it should really be.
- arbitrary (adj) /ˈɑːbɪtrəri/: not based on any reasons.
=/= rational (adj) /ˈræʃnəl/: based on reasons rather than emotions.
- intimate (adj) /ˈɪntɪmət/: close or friendly.
- divulge (v) /daɪˈvʌldʒ/: reveal.
- emotional wake (n): a kind of mood that you have after you have had a conversation with someone, aftereffect.
- off-base (adj): wrong.
* New Words:
- relent (v) /ri:'lent/: come to an agreement after having refused
==> relentless = unrelenting (adj): not stopping, (a person) keep doing something without considering the other's feelings.
- take one's life (v): end one's life, kill one' life.
- anti-depressant drugs (n) /ˌæntidɪˈpresnt/: drugs are for treating depression.
- on paper (idm): (in this context): in reality, author's life is not good at all even though it should be good as it is planned.
- intermittent (adj) /ˌɪntərˈmɪtənt/: not regular.
- bout of (n) /baʊt/: a period of illness or depression.
-subconsciously (adv) /ˌsʌbˈkɑːnʃəs/: (in this context) the author would like to talk about his emotions have mentally been prevented, "handcuffed" or accumulated day by day.
- suppress (v) /səˈpres/: prevent something from being spoken out, expressed or showed.
==> suppression (n) + of:
- trivialize (v) /ˈtrɪviəlaɪz/: make something less important than it should really be.
- arbitrary (adj) /ˈɑːbɪtrəri/: not based on any reasons.
=/= rational (adj) /ˈræʃnəl/: based on reasons rather than emotions.
- intimate (adj) /ˈɪntɪmət/: close or friendly.
- divulge (v) /daɪˈvʌldʒ/: reveal.
- emotional wake (n): a kind of mood that you have after you have had a conversation with someone, aftereffect.
- off-base (adj): wrong.
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